Describe your favourite place in your city.
You should say:
where it is
how often you visit there
what kind of things you can do there
and explain why you like it.
My favourite place in my city is called 왕십리. I visit there (there 보다는 the 처럼 들립니다. 조금 더 명확히 표현해주셔야 할 것 같아요~) about three times a week. It is located in the upper side of Han River, and it takes about thirty minutes from where I live (여기의 경우도 leave 처럼 들리고요!). I can do some of my homework or even I can study in a cafe ('카' 보다는 캐'페이' 쪽이 더 자연스러운 발음에 가깝습니다.), and usually I teach my friend who came here as an exchange student, how to speak Korean fluently. I like 왕십리 because it is located in right next to 한양 university, so I can see lots of university students. And even the street in 왕십리 is called the street of young people, because a lot of university students play, study and live near 왕십리, so there are a lot of facilities for university students. So I can experiecne some familiar cultures among university students.
총평: 전반적으로 잘 해주셨고, 몇몇 발음상의 불확실함에 대해서만 보완해주시면 될 것 같습니다. 또한 가능한 선에서만 대본을 읽는다는 느낌보다는 직접 대화를 하는 감을 살려서 말씀해주시면 좋고요. (물론 이건 정말 어렵긴 합니다.) 수고하셨습니다 :)