Describe your neighbourhood.
You should say:
where your neighbourhood is
what kind of things you can do there
what you don't like about it
and explain what things you like about it.
My neighbourhood is 수성구, which is located in 대구, a city in the southern part of Korea. My neighbourhood are is usually a place for education, where I can study and a lot of people from other regions come here to go to private academies academy. There are several kinds of things that I don't like about the place it. First of all, it is really quiet during weekday afternoons. As I really love crowded places, it is little bit sad that I can't see people in the afternoon. However, at night, it is really noisy because several unconsiderable people drive automobiles in the wide road. A lot of people say it is really annoying because they have to sleep about midnight. Also, the other thing I don't like about it is that the rumour can spread really quickly among students in 수성구. There Although there are lots of schools in 수성구, which are all located near each other its places are really narrow, so whenever there is a rumour about me in our school, students of other schools can know it in really short time. However, there are also things that I like about it, and the biggest thing is that there are lots of facilities for students. It is because there are lots of students who came here for education.
총평: 이 파트의 경우 발음상 문제는 없었지만, 대신 내용과 관련해서 보완이 필요합니다. 현재 호/불호 관련해서 너무 불호쪽으로 쏠리기도 했고, 유일하게 호를 다루는 부분마저 보완설명이 거의 없으므로 조절해주셔야 해요. 예를 들면 단순히 시설이 많다에서 그치는 것이 아니라, 어떤 시설이 많은지 등을 작성해주셔야 합니다. 이 과정에서 단점 관련 내용은 조금 줄여주시고요!
또한 표현상 수정도 꽤 해드렸는데, 너무 정확한 문법을 의식하실 필요는 없고, 그냥 매끄러운 말하기에 지장이 가지 않는 선에서만 조절해주세요. 수고하셨습니다 :)